Read Time: 3 Minutes

Recently, I coached a director at a Fortune 500 company who was frustrated that his ideas weren't getting traction with senior leadership. His presentations were crisp, his data was solid, but something was missing.

During one of our sessions, I noticed something fascinating: every time someone asked him a question, he'd immediately launch into a perfectly structured response. No pause. No clarification. Just rapid-fire answers.

"I pride myself on being efficient," he told me. "I never waste anyone's time."

But here's what he didn't realize: by optimizing for efficiency, he was actually undermining his effectiveness.

The Key Insight

 

I've found that the best leaders I've worked for share their intentions or goals upfront. Then, they spend at least 70% of their meetings listening and asking questions.

Within two months of shifting his approach, this director got approved for his biggest initiative of the year. The surprising part? He didn't change his ideas or data. He changed how he listened.

Today, I'm sharing the exact framework that helped him transform his communication style. But first, let's understand where most people go wrong.

Understanding Response Levels

Most conversations at work, especially with senior leaders, stay stuck at what I call "Level 1" or "Level 2" responses:

Level 1: The Dead End

• "I don't have questions."
• "I'm good."
• "That makes sense."

Level 2: The Polite Bounce Back

• "Great, how are you?"
• "What do you think?"
• "Any concerns?"

While these responses feel efficient, they actually prevent real connection and understanding from developing. They're conversation killers disguised as dialogue.

The AAA Framework for Active Listening

Instead of falling into these surface-level traps, use the AAA framework to create meaningful dialogue:

1. Acknowledge (without judgment) -- "I hear what you're saying about the project timeline concerns..."
2. Ask (open-ended follow-ups) -- Instead of: "Did the meeting go well?" Try: "What were your key takeaways from the meeting?" I wrote about asking open-ended questions ​HERE​.
3. Affirm (validate before moving forward) -- "So if I understand correctly, your main concern is [paraphrase their point]. Is that right?"

Here's a real example from one of my clients:

Team Member: "I don't think we'll hit the deadline."

Poor Response (Level 1): "Okay, let's just work harder then."

Strong Response (AAA Method): "I understand you have concerns about the timeline [Acknowledge]. What specific obstacles do you see us facing? [Ask] So you're saying our biggest bottleneck is the approval process? [Affirm]"

 

Why This Matters: The True Cost of Efficient Communication

if you don't actively listen:

• You won't answer what they actually care to know...
• ...Which means your teammates won't feel heard...
• ...Which means you'll shut them down from sharing ideas or building on your own.

If you want to command respect as a leader, I recommend enrolling in my comprehensive communication program, ​The Impromptu Speakers Academy​. You'll get detailed coaching on these frameworks plus dozens more for different scenarios. Cohort 1 starts on Monday, January 6th.

Hope this helps.

Preston