Network Like a Pro in 4 Easy Steps
READ TIME: 4 MINUTES
Have you ever felt awkward when trying to strike conversation with someone new?
Whether it's a networking event, social party, dinner, customer or partner interaction, or frankly just meeting anyone, it's pretty normal to feel awkward about approaching someone, keeping the convo going, and exiting.
But not getting this right in my early career hurt me. Too many times I missed opportunities to present to prospects while at the NBA, build relationships with my CBS colleagues with interesting backgrounds, or even meet new restaurant partners who could have changed the trajectory of my tech startup (which ultimately flopped).
Now, as a Head of BD and Partnerships at Lucid Software, I speak daily with partners -- whether virtually, over coffee, in board rooms, or at conferences. Over the past 3 years, I've gotten a TON of reps when it comes to building rapport, so I'm excited to share with you the four simple steps that I've detailed in my ā€‹Impromptu Speakers Academyā€‹ that you can apply during your next conversation.
Let's dive in.
Step 1: The Opener
The key to a great opener is simplicity and warmth. Here are my two favorite approaches:
- Warm smile + "How are you?"
- "My name is [Your Name]. What's your name?"
These openers work because they're friendly, non-threatening, and open-ended. They invite the other person to engage without putting pressure on them.
Don't overcomplicate things. In English-speaking environments and cultures I've worked in, I've found the best approach is when you walk towards your target while making initial eye contact, smiling, and waving. Then when you get closer, a firm handshake while locking eye contact and maintaining your smile is crucial as you start the salutation.
Step 2: The Next Question
Your goal here is twofold: gauge their willingness to engage and find common ground. Here are some effective next questions:
- "What brought you to [this event/location]?"
- "I couldn't help but notice [something interesting about them]. What's the story behind that?"
- "What was the highlight of your weekend?"
- "I see you work at [Company X]. What got you into that role?"
- "I think we have a mutual connection in [Person Y]. How do you know them?"
The key is to ask open-ended questions (starting with "what" or "how") and keep it light.
Example during a Zoom call I recently had with a partner:
It led to five minutes of banter around a topic I genuinely was interested in -- the NFL and his story.
Step 3: Conversational Threading
This is where the magic happens. Conversational threading involves telling short stories (30-45 seconds) that offer the listener multiple points to ask follow-ups or build off.
Your story should include at least one of the following:
- Top action
- Top emotion
- Top thought
- Optional: Conflict/Challenge or Dialogue
Here's how my partner responded. It was very effective. I highlighted the key emotion and action that stood out to me, prompting my follow-up.
"I've lived in Minnesota for most of my childhood, and as most Minnesota residents know, you can't help but root for the Vikings. I fell head over heels for them when my dad took me to my first game at age 8. And even though it's been rough rooting for a franchise that hasn't won much, I don't think I could have my kids root for another team."
Step 4: The Exit
Ending a conversation can be as tricky as starting one. Here are two approaches:
If you want to follow up:
- Express that you enjoyed the conversation and ask for their contact information.
If you don't want to follow up:
- Thank them for their time and wish them well.
- You can ask about their weekend plans and wish them well on that particular activity.
I prefer the approach of being genuine rather than fabricating reasons to leave like "running to the restroom" or "getting a drink."
This Week's Action Step:
Practice with familiar faces!
The next time you're reconnecting with colleagues on Monday, ask what was the highlight of their weekend. And then, assuming they ask you in return, try to "conversationally thread" by telling a 30-second story tied to a memorable activity you did or strong emotion you felt.
If you found this helpful, the Impromptu Speakers Academy is my 3-week bootcamp to help you become a clear and confident speaker at work. Reserve your spot today while they're still available.
Hope this helps. Ping me with any feedback or questions.
Preston
