Today, I'm going to tell you the key mindset shift I made 4 years ago that turned me from nervous wreck to confident speaker.

It's the number 1 reason why many of my students come to me for help. Their anxiety prevents them from performing at their best in interviews, presentations, and important meetings.

Once they embrace this, I've seen firsthand how they sound more confident, clear and compelling.

And more importantly, they embrace opportunities to speak rather than avoid them.

Now, let's dive in.

GIFT, NOT EXPECTATION

The problem: you've put an unbearable expectation on yourself to perform.

You start to hear NATS -- Negative Automatic Thoughts -- creep in your head the moment you feel you may not meet your expectations.

Will I sound polished enough? Will people take me seriously? Will I forget my words?

Instead, we need to reframe our minds into accepting that whenever we speak, we're giving a GIFT to our listener. Our message is not an act of selfishness, but rather an act of service.

Typically, your GIFT can fall in one of three categories:

• Emotion: what emotion do you want your audience to feel?
• Information: what key piece of information do you want your audience to remember?
• Action: what action do you want your audience to take?

Your communication will always comprise of at least one of these 3 gifts (and often times, more). It's your job to identify your purpose for your audience. And this next framework will help you do just that.

THE KEY FRAMEWORK TO UNDERSTANDING YOUR GIFT

Write down this sentence on a sticky note (or somewhere for easy reference).

I want [MY AUDIENCE] to feel ____________ about _______________ in order to ____________.

Before any event when you feel nervous, externalize the GIFT you're about to provide by writing down this framework and filling in the blanks.

Fill in each blank with either 1 word or 1 short phrase.

You can see how the emotional gift comes first, then the informational gift, then the actionable gift.

Key point: you don't need all three gifts to complete the sentence. But at least identify the key emotion that you want to give your audience.

Emotion is the most crucial because it has the longest effect on our audience. It's how people perceive you. It's the motivating factor behind any action you may want your audience to take.

A FEW CONCRETE EXAMPLES

1. I want my HIRING MANAGER to feel EXCITED about MY CANDIDACY in order to RECOMMEND ME FOR THE JOB. 

2. I want my CEO to feel CONFIDENT about MY PLANS TO IMPLEMENT OUR PARTNERSHIP STRATEGY in order to SECURE HIS EXECUTIVE SPONSORSHIP. 

3. I want my CUSTOMER to feel MOTIVATED about CHANGING HIS EATING HABITS in order to LOSE 10 POUNDS.  

4. I want my AUDIENCE to feel INSPIRED about OUR COMPANY MISSION in order to PUT IN THEIR BEST WORK THIS QUARTER.

5.  I want my TECH PARTNER to feel FOMO about NOT PARTNERING WITH US in order to COMMIT TO OUR LAUNCH.

FINAL THOUGHTS

I highly recommend watching the video lesson above to internalize this key mindset reframe. The next time you feel nervous, think GIFT, NOT EXPECTATION. And write down your audience gift using the framework above. 

Preston

If you found this helpful, the Impromptu Speakers Academy is my 3-week bootcamp to help you become a clear and confident speaker at work. Reserve your spot today while they're still available.